I am still writing the book, Voices of Older Women. It is not finished yet, but it is very close.
I have been thinking about the reasons communication is difficult between older parents and their adult children. I wonder why their relationships are strained. Each generation brings much baggage to the scene and often it is hard to get past that. Sometimes it keeps the relationship on a very superficial level. this can be very upsetting for the older person. The younger adult can remain busy with their own family and not give a lot of thought to the parent.
There is a spiritual aspect to relationships, which is really important. It can make the difference between being in touch or not.
When raised with a belief in God and all that it entails one has values inbred that can be called on again and again even if given up for a time. I think that we naturally look toward our Creator in our older years. Many discard the religion and all its failings and hang on the idea of God as Creator and/or a universal loving power. It brings comfort and strength to those who face losses and struggle with health issues. When I think about Christianity and all it means if one is called to act as the tenets state, one can’t ignore or remain separate from one’s older parents.
Honor your father and mother is a commandment. What does it mean to honor a parent? It means to acknowledge, care about, know, look out for their well being, just as they did for their children.Another commandment, in fact the greatest commandment, is to love God with one’s whole being and love thy neighbor as thyself. Is a parent a neighbor? Even if you hate your parents, the Christian command is to love your enemies. So there is no way a Christian can abandon or ignore a parent and still be a Christian.
For those who don't claim any religious belief there is still the Golden Rule, which states that we should do unto others as you would have others do unto you. Treat others the way you would like to be treated.
How would like to be treated when you get older?
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