Tuesday, June 2, 2009

TALKING ABOUT THE BOOK

I had the opportunity to speak at another women’s group about the book and there was a good discussion about communication and/or lack of it. I don’t know what the ladies did about their families after they left, but maybe they made a call to help mend fences or reach out.

I also met with a person to help set up a support group for persons with depression. We thought we could use the book, Voices of Older Women as a guide. It would be a good source or trigger for discussion. It didn’t work out but I believe I shall use it here on my blog as a trigger for discussion here for bloggers.

LET'S TALK
While preparing for the Voices Of Older Women book, I interviewed 100 women from 50 to 97 years old. We talked about many issues. I’d like to discuss some of them here on this blog. Many said that they would like to communicate more with families, but knew they were busy and didn’t want to impose on them.

Let’s start with Chapter 1 of Voices. The chapter announces the problem which is that many older women are invisible to families and society. That they are overlooked ignored, not called on for advice, not acknowledged, nor appreciated for who they are and what they do.
Did you ever feel like that? Do you find ways to express it or talk about it with family and friends? Or do you push it aside and accept that as your fate? What does it feel like?
Let’s talk about it.

BEFORE THE CRISIS
At a meeting about long term care issues and Medical and Veterans services, I found out that many don’t know about the help available for older persons who find themselves in need of services. This is as it has always been. People are not interested or do not have a need to know until there is a crisis. Then they start to look for help when a little foresight could have helped them to plan for the inevitable.

Is it the same in communication? Do people hold off telling loved ones how they really feel until there is a crisis? What do you have to lose by sending an email or card, or calling a relative just to say, “Hi, how are you and I love you.”?
It could be the most important conversation of the day for the recipient and by the way the caller too.

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